When You Know, You Know
Growing up, I was always wondering when the time would be for me to meet The One. I know a lot of young girls grow up and become a completely developed mature woman who has other dreams and priorities, instead of focusing on just finding Her One.
I, on the other hand, keep that wish with me all through my teenager life up until now, when I would define myself as a woman. I still wonder when the time is for me to meet The One.
Who exactly is, The One? The woman/man of one's dreams, the soulmate, or the love of of one’s life, as cheesy relationship articles always refer to. When do they come around? How do we know that they have come?
Time and time again, I always hear people say: when you know, you know.
When The One God created for you comes along, you will know.
But technically and realistically, how do I know?
Is he The One if I feel butterflies in my tummy when I am with him?
Is he The One if he continuously inspires me to write beautiful poetry of how wonderful life is when we’re together?
How do I know?
As Allah says in the Holy Quran, “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourself mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Ar-Rum : 21)
With that in mind, I am committed to find someone who makes me feel comfortable with. Someone who makes me feel like I am home. However, isn't it possible to feel that way with more than one person?
One time I heard a New York Time best selling author said that he doesn't believe in the whole concept of finding The One. He believes that in the world of 7 billion population you can find more than one people out there that you could be really happy with.
So the next question is, what do people mean when they say they have found The One?
It most likely means that they have found someone with a set of great qualities they were looking for who also happens to be in a stage in their life where they are ready to commit to a serious relationship. So don't bother finding The One, instead, ask questions to find out if the one we are thinking about should be the one we choose.
Now that You and I are together, have you ever asked yourself If I am The One for you?
The woman of your dreams, your soulmate, the love of your life, as cheesy relationship articles always refer to.
People's feeling is inconsistent. It changes over the course of our life as we grow.
However, there are some things that will remain constant, for example family.
You can never deny the woman who gave birth to you, as it is a fact. You can’t choose who get to become your family, this way they remain a constant part of your life.
Is that the case when we discuss about finding The One?
Will The One become a constant part of our life? Will they become a fact?
I'm no expert in relationship and I may not have the credibility to even talk about this.
But one thing I learn on this subject, your feeling and emotion towards The One may vary on daily basis, but if there is one thing that will stay the same, is your choice to always choose them, over and over again until the very end of your day.
That, to me, is the technical and realistic part of when you know, you know.
Let me tell You that one time when my mother defended you after I told her how we got into arguments.
Not that I tell her stories expecting she will pick my side. But in the previous relationships, every time I got into arguments with whom I thought was The One, my mother would almost always pick my side. Subtly suggesting that whomever I was with, was not The One.
That is never the case with you.
Every time I tell my mom that you and I have different opinion, she will always defend you. As if secretly yelling at me that I have something very special and I must never let go of that something special, You.
Let me tell You that one time my father asked about how my day was with you and laughed at basically everything I said.
I am so happy for you, he said. A powerful statement I never heard of when I was with someone else. There was always a hint of jealousy, I-am-not-ready-to-let-you-go-especially-with-that-one-kind-of-feeling to whatever he said.
That is never the case with you.
Every time I tell my father how I spend my days with you, there is always a smile on his face. His stamp of approval, sometimes I feel like he is the one who falls in love with you.
I need You to know that one day I woke up thinking that you were already a part of me, as I was hopefully already a part of you.
We don't push a button and decide we want to love someone completely. It happens so silently and unconsciously and without my permission, suddenly you and I become we and there will be no end of that. No matter how angry or upset I get sometimes, not with you, but with the situation we are in, I will always find my way back to you. You have become my home. I pray that God will lead us to always choose each other, over and over again.
And that is when I know, I know.