Peer Pressured

Of all the milestones in your life, how many of those were the true calling from your heart?

The day you decided to smoke
The day you decided to make an Instagram account
The day you decided what school you wanted to go to
The day you decided to officially date someone

Were all of those important stages really what you wanted? Or were some of those merely driven by your surroundings?

Have you ever stopped for a second and noticed just how many things you did because a bunch of other people did it too? Were you at some point in your life pressured to make a decision to do something and you finally did just to feel accepted by the society?

Well the answer would be yes and yes for me.
A lot of choices I made in the past were results of me trying to fit in the normal category. A lot of actions were triggered by the society's definition of what a normal human being should do. And when I do something that are not inline with the popular opinion, or when people are doing things that I'm not doing I get a little insecure.

When I was little I thought at this age I would get my life together already. A lot of people my age are married, with kids, employed, and basically have their life figured out, it seems. And a lot of time I sit here and ask myself if I have lived life to the fullest? Or have I wasted too much time being afraid and not trying as much?

You may read this as another expression of fear and insecurity-for it might be. But I would like to see this as a wake up call for an old soul that lies within me. 

This year I pledge to live a life that needs no validation.
I want to do things that I truly believe are worth chasing, no matter what other people think about it. 
I want to understand myself at all time, a little bit more each and everyday.
I want to grow old knowing that the path that I take is the path that feels right to me.
I want to care less about what people do with their life and how they define happiness. 
And hopefully I can be the happiest version of myself by simply living by those rules.

Popular posts from this blog

The Perks of Being a Member of Working Class

One day I had a chance to spend the night in a decent hospital located in Jalan Jenderal Gatot Subroto. Salah satu jalan protokol Jakarta dimana puluhan gedung pencakar langit berdiri di kanan kirinya dan ratusan kendaraan melintas tanpa henti dari malam sampai pagi. Saya terbangun pukul empat pagi dan menemukan banyak kendaraan bermotor yang sudah wara wiri Gatsu meski mentari belum muncul. Kebanyakan truk, mungkin bagian dari rantai distribusi yang mengantar bermacam barang kebutuhan sehari-hari. Banyak pula pengendara motor atau mobil pribadi, entah mereka yang baru menyelesaikan shift malam dan menuju peraduan, atau mereka yang sudah bangun sejak dini hari dan bersiap memulai pekerjaan. I thought to myself, wow, Jakarta. Kamu dan segala kompleksitasmu. You and all of your magic . Kamu yang dipenuhi jutaan orang yang terus mengeluh soal beratnya hidup. Kamu yang jadi saksi bahwa para pengeluh itu lalu bangun tiap hari dan mencoba bertahan sehari lagi. Sudah hampir lima tahun saya m
Read more

It used to suck

Hello :) Seneng deh rasanya denger cerita dari temen2 di rumah soal serunya wisuda. Setelah berbulan2 rempong sama urusan UAN, akhirnya bisa santai2 lagi setelah dinyatakan lulus. Oh well, ngga nyantai2 juga sih, kan masih sibuk nyari kampus hehe. Anwway, kadang sedih juga sih kalo dipikir2. So this is how it works : Taun lalu saat saya seharusnya naik kelas 3, saya berangkat ke Amerika ( hehehe ) Setiap sekolah di Amrik sini punya sistem yang beda sih, sebagian dari mereka ngijinin exchange students buat transfer kredit mereka dari negara asal ke sekolah yang di Amrik. Jadi kalo emang kreditnya cukup buat lulus ya mereka bisa dapet diploma disini. But not all schools roll like that. Salah satunya, sekolah gw disini. Man, waktu pertama dikasih tau gw ngga bakal lulus disini, gw to be honest agak kecewa. I felt like I was going to waste my time; considering that I had to be a junior again. And next year when I would go home, I'd have to be a senior while all friends hav
Read more

On Perfect Marriage

Image
On January 16th 2020 Masyan and I celebrate the fourth anniversary of our partnership. Yes, I just used the term partnership to try to sound more professional, instead of frankly and hopelessly said "the fourth anniversary of being boyfriend and girlfriend" . As a matter of fact, this is our first January 16th where we have been officially married. So yeah, we both come to the point of asking each other, do we celebrate our partnership on November 10th now ? Which was our wedding date and not make a big deal about January 16th anymore. Or do we celebrate both ? Which gives us one more excuse to go on a fancy date and eat somewhere nice :p On a more critical note, I would like to take this time to just sit down and write wonderful thing about being married. Due to work related reason, we are still living in two different cities for the time being. So whenever he comes home for the weekend and we get to spend time together, it somehow still feels like a honeymoon. Yes, I d
Read more